Arts by Tim Croft.
Hello and welcome.

Organ Grinder's Monkey, video still, 2015

The Conversation, book, 2015

Lump Hammer at Gallery North, 2015

Boundary Reconfiguration, video still, 2015

Tennis, detail, 2015

The Conversation, 2015

Sammy the Soap lived in Dave’s bathroom. Sammy spent his days resting on a small shelf attached to Dave’s shower. Sammy would spend most of his time looking around the bathroom, or sleeping on his back. But most days Dave would come into the bathroom to use the shower. The light-switch would click, the bathroom would be bathed in light, and the bathroom fan would start whirring. Then Dave would set the shower running whilst he hung up his bath robe. Sammy the Soap would be engulfed by a cloud of hot steam. Into the shower would step Dave. Into Dave’s hand Sammy would be grasped. “Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee” went Sammy with excitement, as his swooped across Dave’s chest. Whooooooooooosh went Sammy as he sped down Dave’s arm. “Yeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaay” went Sammy as he cornered hard round Dave’s armpit. “Woooooooooooow” went Sammy as his zig-zagged down Dave’s leg. “Uh-oh” went Sammy with hesitation, as Dave thrust Sammy deep into his hairy arse crack. Up and down went Sammy. This was the worse bit. “Urgh” went Sammy as he got spun around and around Dave’s hairy ball-bag. Dave was done showering, and Sammy the Soap was placed back on his small shelf attached to the shower. Sammy watched as Dave dried himself with a big towel. Sammy watched as he himself dripped dry on his little platform. A few days later, the bathroom door opened, the light went on, the fan whirred. Sammy the Soap’s eyes lit up. “YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!” he shouted, overjoyed at what he saw. Dave’s girlfriend Elaine had come over to stay the night. “Jammy bastard” grumbled Stephen the Scouring Pad who sat neglected on the bathroom windowsill. Sammy could not help but beam with joy. That’s one vigorous arse and gusset plunge Sammy was happy to take. Several weeks passed of Dave’s showers, and Sammy’s exhilarating roller-coaster rides over Dave’s body. But one morning Dave came into the bathroom to shower. The light-switch clicked, the bathroom was bathed in light, and the bathroom fan started whirring. Then Dave set the shower running whilst he hung up his bath robe. Sammy the Soap was engulfed by a cloud of hot steam. Dave got into the shower and looked at Sammy with a look of concern and disappointment. Sammy the Soap was ill. Sammy the Soap was dying. Sammy had lost a lot of weight, and lay there delicately on the shower shelf. He lay there desperately thin, with a couple of thick curly hairs embedded into his frail body. Dave gingerly tried to pick Sammy up from the shelf, but Sammy was so ill that he had become stuck to the shelf. As Dave tried to pick Sammy up, Sammy’s body began to squash at the edges. Oh what a sorry state Sammy was in. Dave continued, trying to prize Sammy from the shelf. Eventually Dave succeeded, but Sammy’s body was mangled around the edges. As Dave pressed Sammy against his chest, poor Sammy broke apart into three pieces. Dave lost his grip and Sammy’s broken body dropped to the shower floor. His dismantled body collected in the plug hole of the shower. Sammy the Soap was almost dead. He grew ever thinner. His body snapped into pieces. Dave looked down upon Sammy. “What to do?”, Dave wondered. Using his big toe, Dave mangled the remains of Sammy into the plughole, breaking Sammy down in a mush of soap and thick wiry hair. Eventually Sammy dissolved and was no more.

Sammy the Soap, 2014

C, 2014

Stand-Up, video still, 2012

Fail Proof, 2012